DONKEY

Yeah so…. I am done…. I don’t know whether to be mad, sad or what? Have you ever just felt used? That’s me…. So I talked to “Donkey” today and though before he told me he wouldn’t tell me he didn’t care because he did…. Even when I asked him too, today was different! He told me he only cared about me as a friend! I couldn’t believe it! Ok so really? WHAT? I mean how do you do that? Seriously? He called it dating not me… What does dating lead to? Say it with me boys and girls…. A RELATIONSHIP!!! He said he cared but he was just scared of a relationship, he told me that I “wowed” him, he said a lot of things…. So I fell right in to the trap! He can think what he wants to but he lead me to believe and actually told me on a number of occasions that he cared for me as more than a friend! Whatever! Do guys really get off on making a girl all twisted up inside? I mean really do it to the dirty whores of the world not the good girls! So I have the best remedy for this whole situation! BEER! Today I am going to do what I do and be mad! I am going to drink and I am not going to cry…. Tomorrow I’ll wake up with a wicked hangover and I will be fine because somewhere between the beers and a hangover I will realize we were nothing and are nothing and it’s ok. I will rebuild the trust in him and be his friend because I do want the friendship…. Though he doesn’t understand how I have to rebuild trust… Well Donkey… as a friend you allowed me to care about you and believe you cared about me….when I gave you several chances to change that you didn’t. I actually said should I stop caring about you and tell me you don’t care about me. Those were perfect opportunities to on more than one occasion. If he had really cared about me as a friend he would have ended it there. So now I have to learn to trust that he can be a friend that would want happiness for me. Whatever Josh and Ryan are coming over and I am getting SHITTY!!!! Tomorrow I’ll be ok!