All the frustration....

After some drinks with my mom last night, it was a little easier to fall asleep however, I couldn’t stay asleep. I woke up every hour on the hour. I was a cursing left and right this morning. As we all know I am not a morning person if I don’t get sleep. I just don’t understand why things have to be so hard! I want to talk to the “Donkey” but at the same time I don’t. I miss the conversations, the friendship and the connection we have but I think the separation of 7 days is what is best. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from a situation to clear your mind and find your way. Part of me just wants to believe he lead me on and never cared about me as more than a friend. It was all a lie and I am mistaken. My intuition was wrong, he lied and I got played for a fool. Maybe that is the case. Maybe he just didn’t know how to say I never really cared about you as more. I have 5 more days and then maybe he’ll call. Though it was my call not to talk for 7 days, he said he was going to call me. So we will see. 5 days and maybe I’ll have found a resolution. I might actually know where we stand and be comfortable with it. Something tells me though…. My feelings aren’t going to go away…..will that put me right back into the same situation? I should probably hit the tanning bed and try and relax but I think I am going ot clean and stay close to home today….