Intimacy Isn't A Dirty Word

I figured out a long time ago that in a relationship intimacy and the lack of boundaries that come with intimacy is what makes a strong and amazing relationship. But intimacy, like trust, is something that has to be built. It is something most people are afraid of. People mistake intimacy with vulnerablitly. Intimacy is not a dirty word, it is the ability to share what ever is on your mind with out fear of judgement, use the bathroom with the door wide open, sit in a room and not speak to each other and still be comfortable. Intimacy is more than sex, it can only be achieved through great friendship, love, respect, trust and yes sex. But this is something that we are never taught, we have to learn the hard way.

It seems like only yesterday at the ripe age of what, 13, we started our journey into sex education. We sat nervously listening as our nerdy health teachers covered everything from our anatomy to the contraction of STD's. Curious, embarrassed and a little scared, we sat there wide eyed and ready to take that passage into what we thought was adult hood. Soaking everything in like sponges, we never realized how complicated that one class was going to make the rest of our lives. Somewhere in the midst of child birth and STD's, the penis and the vagina, they forgot to mention that the complications of the penis will exceeded pregnancy and STD's. They told you how to put on a condom but not how to deal with discovering you were just sex or the other girl or even worse being just sex and the first of many girls in the picture. They explained menstrual cycles and erections but they never found it pertinent to explain monogamy or the emotions sex produces. There were never worksheets about how to deal with being used or the true meaning of intimacy. We women were left on our own to figure it all out. We had to get creative, at least I did.

I am no expert in the affairs of the heart. I date the wrong men and can't seem to find a good one but here's what I've learned a long the way. Don't run from intimacy, don't view it as a negative, but also don't get it confused with great sex. Intimacy is an amazing bond between people and I am convinced that one day..... even if it is not who you expected to share it with, even if it doesn't look like what you had always pictured, even if it is not the easiest of situations, even if it's just for a moment, that glimpse of intimacy is what keeps us holding on.