The more boys I meet....

The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog! Dogs unlike men, are loyal, love you unconditionally, if trained properly listen to you and what you tell them to do, can sense when something is wrong with you, and most importantly don't judge you. Loyalty is something most men are lacking these days.... big time! Guys seem to have a funny way of wanting you one minute and not the next and then 20 mins later want you again? Help me understand that one? Crystal & I have started to learn a lot lately.... pay attention boys... Girls rarely just say exactly what they are feeling but if you have gotten to know a girl well enough you can read in between the words she speaks and hear what she is really saying... all you have to do is listen! If a girl isn't smiling nearly as much that day or isn't calling or texting you like normal.... sense this.... something is wrong! It might be you or it could actually be something else but the fact you neglect to acknowledge her change in behavior makes her feel unwanted and unacknowledged and then you become part of the problem. Men stop judging! You make an assumption based on nothing.... if you haven't asked a girl what she is thinking or taken the time to get to know what is in her heart and why she is the way she is.... don't assume! Don't judge! A girl that can appear strong may be the girl who is as soft as a sponge! You don't know unless you ask or take the time to listen! So be aware about what you say.... it doesn't matter if you knew her years ago.... you don't know her now... it doesn't matter what you think you know.... you know nothing if you haven't asked and really truly listened! Guys get it together! If you say your gonna call, call. When you do finally call.... talk about something other than yourself! You either care all the time or none of the time... its gotta be an all or nothing situation! Seriously... 2 years of refusing to date anyone and hell refusing to even kiss someone was enough time for me to figure out.... Men are clueless.... but the older I get the more I realize.... clueless doesn't even begin to describe it! Get it together!

Signs your from Fairfax County

1. Speed limits are just suggestions
2. You take a major highway to get anywhere (95, 66, 28, etc)
3. You constantly complain about there being nothing to do, even though you are right next to DC
4. You have at least 2 friends who have no idea what their parents do because its "top secret" government work
5. 50% of your senior class went to either Mason, JMU, Tech, Radford, or UVA
6. When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because it's easier to explain
7. You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern" in front of it
8. You dread going to the DMV for anything
9. It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you
10. A yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through
11. A red light means 2 more can
12. It takes you 30 minutes to drive 10 miles
13. Your local news is national news
14. If you hear the word "sniper" one more time you're going to slap someone
15. You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for
16. You drive at least 30 miles a day to get to work
17. You do your Christmas shopping online b/c the shopping malls are like parking lots
18. Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are NOT, under ANY circumstances, a "southerner"
19. You know that each high school in the region had its own corresponding McDonald's
20. You know at least 10 people who drive a Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, etc.
21. The cars in the local high school's student parking lot are worth 3x those in the teacher parking lot
22. You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington DC
23. You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak English
24. You can cross 4 lanes of traffic in under 30 seconds
25. There are at least 3 malls within 20 minutes of your house
26. There are at least 6 Starbucks within 20 minutes of your house
27. You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag
28. You remember the Air and Space museum fondly from school fieldtrips to DC
29. When traveling, you have your choice of 3 airports
30. You don't actually like the Redskins/Wizards (except when Jordan was playing)
31. An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of work
32. All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience
33. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it
34. A rich white kid driving a BMW while blasting rap music is a common occurance
35. You call things "ghetto" even though in most of the rest of the country it'd be high class
36. You don't have enough room on your home lot to build a garage
37. You know where to find Midgetville
38. When you were driving on the beltway at 2:13am on a Tuesday there was still traffic
39. Crown Victoria = undercover cop
40. A slow driver is someone who isn't going at least 10mph over the speed limit
41. You understand the meaning of "If you don't get it, you don't get it"
42. Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro
43. You've taken a wrong turn somewhere late at night and ended up in Anacostia
44. Most of Loudon County is the "middle of nowhere"
45. They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new houses in its place
46. You know who Elliott is
47. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peal out the second the light turned green
48. You've honked at someone because they didn't peal out the second the light turned green
49. Two words: rush hour
50. For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa
51. Presidential Helicopters, F-15s, and airplanes flying above your neighborhood is a normal occurance
52. If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have 3 new names

Let me count the ways....

Oh Northern Virginia how I love you..... Let me count the ways....

1. I love that you are so over populated that my 13 mile commute somehow amounts up to 1 full hour and a quarter of a tank of gas.

2. I love how my taxes are supposedly spent on road improvements but my car seems to find a pot hole on every road I take.... My car thanks you as well!

3. I love that you not only tax us on every single thing but then allow cities to have their own tax as well! Great so I pay 2 taxes amounting sometimes up to 8%. (Arlington & Alexandria do this now, for all you locals.... look at your receipts)

4. I love that I drive by one of Virginia's finest police officer's going a mere 5 miles over the speed limit and I get stopped but yet the guy in front of me going a clear 20 over keeps on rolling. Thank you...

5. I love that we pride ourselves on having some of the best school systems in the country, yet times get a little tough and you lay off older experienced, educated teachers to replace them with young in-experienced college students who could careless about the children.... all for a little less pay.... Nicely done! Good call!

6. I love that when our Subway system has a major train crash the true concern was why the FBI was on scene. Forget the innocent lives that were lost or the people who were seriously injured.

7. I love that we have the best news reporter in the world... Pat Collins... Even to him rain is a tragedy it makes the evening news a pleasure to watch...If you don't believe this... here's a clip.... http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1030193192888&ref=mf

8. I love how you can drive down the street and see a 2 million dollar Mc Mansion right next to a run down home that is up for foreclosure... Starting bid...$80,000.... Make sense of this....

9. I love how you told me last year I made to much money and you asked me to PAY taxes! Thank you for that... As if you didn't get enough out of each check... you needed more... Must have been for all those pot holes you've been planning to fix for 3 years now.

And finally....

10. I especially love how you felt that you were wrong in asking me to pay taxes. You must have felt I paid too much( I felt I did too) It was all MY pleasure to check the mail today and receive a check for over payment on taxes.... ALL $1.03 of it! Really... thank you!

Hopeful Thursday

It's Thursday and I am hopeful it is gonna be a good day! Some headway has been made in our recent adventure of planning which of course sets me a little at ease, all the bills have been paid, there is one more day in the work week and I got Sushi last night! Now all I need today is to get to the tanning beds and find an expense check in the mail and it would be next to perfect! I hope everyone else has a good day!

Fat & Guilty

So, I wake up this morning and looking in the mirror I notice some unwanted weight gain! I wanted to cry! I stepped on the scale and ughh! 4lbs! I have no one to blame but myself though! I have not worked out in like a week and a half, I have been eating like crap too! I guess tonight when I get off work it's gonna be and Carmen Electra for a pretty intense and painful work out! I could kick myself in the ass for getting this far off track! DAMN IT!

And Confusion Sets In...

Just when you think you have it all figured out, you realize that all you had figured out is you really have no clue what is actually going on! Blonde or not.... I think anyone would be as confused as I am about this! Really? Really? Seriously? I just don't get it! Could someone please explain it all to me?

The best song ever...

Ok so I know I just wrote a blog but while I was doing that I heard an amazing song! I wonder where the guy is that feels this way about me???? :)

My Kinda Woman by Craig Morgan

She tucks her Paul Mitchell hair under her John Deere cap
Hides Victoria's Secret under those jeans
She's honest as heaven, she's got a body to match
When they talk about perfect, she's what they mean

She's my kind of woman
She shines like the moment the sun hits the rain
When she smile, yeah it's somethin'
Loves bigger than life
Shes my kind of woman

She's a slice of the country, she's Fifth Avenue
She loves Jesus and sinners like me
She's got the key to my soul wrapped around her finger
She's a weekend in Vegas, seven nights a week

She's my kind of woman
She shines like the moment the sun hits the rain
When she smile, yeah it's somethin'
Loves bigger than life
Shes my kind of woman

She's reckless, she's safe
The angel God saved for my life
Theres a million reasons why

She's my kind of woman
She shines like the moment the sun hits the rain
When she smile, yeah it's somethin'
Loves bigger than life
Shes my kind of woman

She shines like the moment the sun hits the rain
When she smile, man it's somethin'
Loves bigger than life
Shes my kind of woman

My kind of woman

A Monday worth while!

So, it really was a good Monday! Despite the fact that I had a crick in my neck all day long that made me want to cry, or that I was cleaning dirty nasty stuff all day long, or that it was a Monday, or that I found out I wasn't going to Louisville, KY today, or even that I was run off the road by a drunk driver at 5 pm.... It was a AMAZING Monday.... Why you may want to know...??? These days all it takes is a phone call from a certain someone that gives me the butterflies and a smile that last for days. Yup a phone call. That's all it took. I spent the rest of the day grinning from ear to ear all from a phone call. All I can say is WOWSA he makes me smile! It's been a long time since someone has had this kind of affect on me! I found someone I can't stop thinking about and it's very new to me and it's very weird! I don't know what to make of it at all but I like it! Only time will tell if he's as good of a guy than he seems to be but he certainly has a way of making me smile now...! Wonder if he can keep me smiling???? I hope so cause I kinda like him a lot.... maybe a little smitten!

I got nothing...

Wish I could say I had something good tonight... but I don't. A great big amusing blog about how crazy this weekend was is well deserved, but my brain isn't functioning correctly. This weekend has been emotionally and physically exhausting and I wouldn't even know where to begin. Friday was filled with little crazy adventures, Saturday was spent celebrating my God Children and worrying about Kerry, and Sunday was filled with well needed family time and yet it was Father's Day which is never easy for me. I don't even want to begin to get into the details of this weekend except Friday it was good to have a girls night out, it was nice to be in bed before 11pm on Saturday, and Sunday was catch up day. My mind is mush and my body doesn't even want to move and despite my terrible mood all I want is a big hug.... and again... i got nothing. This might be the only time I ever say this but my guess is Monday has to be better! Hope everyone had a great Father's Day and fun weekend!

Friday's Fun Day

So, I have to say…. Friday’s fun is exactly what I needed yesterday and I actually could use it tonight! Though I am not going out tonight, I am doing it up big tomorrow! Crystal, Kerry & Dennis sure can make me smile with all the craziness of the nights! Minus the creepy guy that thought it would be in my best interest to put HIS phone number in MY phone so that I would have it, it was a pretty calm night where it was nothing but good conversations and great, cheap beer! Yay for Happy Hours!

Sushi & Superbad.... All this girl needs

It's only Tuesday and I am exhausted! I mean, I have already, hit Happy Hour up a little too hard, had 4 shots in my mouth (Getting teeth capped hurts but pretty teeth are worth it), made the decision to move out, paid all my bills for the month, and re-prioritized my life. All in 2 days! I can' wait to see what the next 5 days have in store for me.... All I intend on doing is apartment hunting, tanning, working out and attending Miranda's Bridal Shower. Somehow, I don't think that's all that's going to go down this week... I'll probably find my way up to a few more Happy Hours where I will share in night's I don't remember and friends that won't let me forget, if the storms actually break I might make it down to the stables and get in some riding time and in typical Ashton fashion.... Have a few Bridget Jones moments slipped in there somewhere. Let's see what actually happens!!! Picking up sushi and sitting at home watching Superbad was alllll I needed tonight. I am gonna pour myself a glass of wine and take a hot bath. Tomorrow, I'll get back to the daily grind...

This is what weekends are about!

What a great weekend! I mean Friday night was WOWSA! Saturday night was super relaxed and here it is Sunday and it’s just plain lazy! Friday was spent exactly how Fridays are suppose to be spent. Dinner in Fairfax, the bar in Springfield and then back to my house for a game of pool that I lost terribly.... Saturday, I was able to spend the morning relaxing and then out for dinner and coffee. Super relaxing and then a couple of drinks before bed… Now it’s Sunday and after a little spring cleaning, I am off to go relax in the Tanning Beds and then hit some balls at Top Golf with the Girls! Could this weekend get any more perfect?

Happy Hours & Hangovers...

Yikes almighty! I don't know who thought up the idea of Happy Hours but they were amazingly smart and the man that invented Tylenol must have enjoyed Happy Hour about as much as I did last night! Maybe it was the Yager Bomb which yet again didn't even sound appealing at the time or the fact that the party didn't end at the bar but my night got better the later it got... It was great to see everyone at the bar wish I could have stayed longer.....Next time!

Mental Vacations...

Being that my mind never stops going and very rarely does my body these days, I needed some therapy. Me time. A moment with out a thought, with out a movement, with out the feeling of needing to get something done. Now retail therapy is always good for me, but my mind never stops even when shopping… it just changes pages to something a lot less stressful. I am a fast shopper, I see something I want, I know what looks good on me and what fits and then I grab and go. Still never really slowing down. All of you often ask what actually relaxes me… well there are two things… Only one that is actual me time… Tanning… for anywhere from 10-20 minutes, I just stop. I stop thinking, I stop moving, I stop everything. The heat on my skin relaxing every muscle, a fan blowing cool air across me like I am actually at the beach, music up loud drowning out every last thought and me, only me. It’s amazing to me how this crazy looking box that looks like it could take you back in time could actually give me 15 minutes of euphoria! Soooo, today I started back to my 15 minute therapy sessions and not only is it going to make me glow, I will be a little more relaxed again! YAY!!! Now I am on my way out the door to go meet Miss Carrie for a good cup of coffee. Hope everyone has a good Friday, I know I will!!!:)

My Hot Date!

So I had the hottest date I have had in quite a while! Crystal! You are amazing! I had so much fun making fun of a girl who are a mix between trailer trash and Jay-Z videos! SOOOOO much fun! I really want one of those Rite-Aid barretts! Really! I do! Can't wait to get our tattoos hopefully tomorrow! Yay for girls nights!

Really?

I mean seriously..... Really? Seriously? Really? Why am I not surprised? REALLY??????

Chasing frogs...

Ok, not that it isn’t a metaphor for my life, but tonight I was literally chasing frogs! After the huge attempt I made to get my cell phone fixed which was an adventure all it’s own, we headed back to Evon’s house for a couple drinks and a movie. A couple drinks into the night we decided to sit on the back deck and have a cigarette. Somewhere between the conversations about our love lives and beer, I heard it. The first time I thought I was imagining things….. Maybe I was drunk and I was just hearing things…. The second time I had to look… Look for what you might wonder, it was a wild pig running loose in her back yard. Really! Growing up around farms and animals it was a pretty distinct noise… a pig, or so I thought! So, I had to ask what that noise was…. Are you hoarding swine in your basement? Is there something you want to tell me? She looked at me baffled and asked what I was talking about. I couldn’t believe she didn’t hear it… So I blew it off and went on with our very delightful and interesting conversation! Mid conversation I hear it again… Un-phased, Evon kept the conversation going. At this point I was starting to wonder if I was losing my mind. I knew I wasn’t drunk, I knew I wasn’t imagining things… What was going on here? Now I know nature better than most girls and it certainly resembled a pig and then there it was again. Finally, she looks at me and asks, is that the noise your talking about? There were so many not so nice comments I thought about making but I thought as funny as they might be just say yes and find out what that is….. She then tells me as if I am a little kid who knows no better… Ashton it’s a frog… What? Really? What kind of frog sounds like a pig? At this point I had to know. So, somewhere between the beer and conversation, I decided I had to find this thing…. So I began my search…I had to know what kind of frog there was out there that sounded like a pig! Nothing, I found nothing. Little bastard hid well! Every time I would walk away he would go at it again! I am determined to believe that she is actually hoarding little mini pigs somewhere…. It’s a possibility right? I know I am a dork!