Are men really like shoes?

Growing up my mom use to tell me finding the right guy was like trying to find the right pair of shoes. You had to try a few pair on until you found the perfect one. I have never found a sexy pair of shoes that didn’t leave blisters on my feet. I have also never found a man who didn’t leave me disappointed. If they were jerks, I dated them. They always looked so nice and innocent and then as soon as the relationship became official, so did their status as jerk. Is that to say I should stop scouring the planet for Mr. Right and start raiding shoe stores for the perfect shoe? If I find the perfect shoe is that a sign that I will find the perfect man? I buy shoes that ooze hot sex but sit in my closet only to be admired on a shelf. I buy them with the intentions of finding the perfect outfit to wear them with but fail miserably in my attempt. Every once and awhile I will slip them on just to walk around the house. Is that right? If I were to think of all the money spent…. Ohhhh NO, I don’t want to think about all the money wasted. So really Mom, shoes?

I have always adored purses more than shoes as you could probably tell if you saw the hundreds of purses in my closet, so I was thinking, maybe, in my ventures as a 20 something woman trying to find a good man a better analogy should be, finding the right man is like finding the right purse…. Maybe I should be searching for the perfect purse instead, something that really suits me. A purse really does makes a statement about who you are, I suppose in the same way the partner you choose in life does as well. Some girls like leather bags; others canvas maybe even the occasional cloth. There are purses of every size, purses you wear and purses that wear you, some that are small and sleek, practical medium sized ones, and even big ones that are trendy. Some purses are filled with pockets others are bare and empty, each with a different lining. Purses can be stylish, classic, trendy, or just make a statement, there is a perfect purse for everyone. Me, I love all purses as I do all men. I have purses of all styles and though I wear the little trendy ones every once and awhile, I always go back to the leather classic purse. Something that 10 years from now I would still want to wear. I find a beauty in the male species. Something that just makes you smile like the purse department at Neiman Marcus. However, I struggle to find the perfect purse. Now I have a lot of purses some big, some small, some leather, a few cloth and even a couple of canvas. I have shelves full of purses that all have a perfect outfit and I wear them all though they are not MY perfect purse. I tend to like my purses on the larger side, though I don’t wear them and they don’t wear me. I want a purse that compliments me the way I compliment it. Does this mean I want a guy that is bigger than me? I certainly do. I want a man who is taller with some muscles. I also love my leather bags the same way I like a sturdy man, a man who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, more of a mans man. I want a to fit with someone, where we compliment each other. I like purses with a satin lining filled with pockets. Does this mean I want a man with a soft heart and more than what you see on the outside! ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY! I don’t think that is too much to ask for at all.

So Mr. Perfect for me, if you are out there, I am not the girl that thinks a guy should be perfect. I am not that girl at all. I myself am perfectly imperfect and all I am looking for is someone perfect for me. I will be your friend until you ask for more. Don’t expect me to chase after, let me know you are interested and we can pursue a relationship together, equally. I don’t like one-sided relationships and you won’t get that from me. I’m waiting so come and get me!

Chasing Ashton through 2008

Sandman where are you?

So I can’t sleep and I am not a happy camper. I am super frustrated… Nothing is working, Milk, Ny-Quil, Hot bath, Counting sheep… Nothing! Maybe it’s the stress in my life, maybe it’s all the thoughts and analyzing going on in my head. Worrying about my nephew could be it. How he is doing has consumed my thoughts all day. Maybe that is it… Pneumonia is a very dangerous thing though they were able to catch it very early on I still worry. I am exhausted from trying to help my sister out today. Crew did not want to be put down, he wanted to be held…. and walked. He would cry as soon as you put him down or stopped walking. So, for hours it was laps around the house with no stop and a chubby little munchkin on the hip. I am worn out from that, I can only imagine my poor sister. It was so sad to see him so sick. I think my sister should get an award, she’s a great mom. Though maybe the analyzing could be it… I have been over analyzing “the dream”… I think I may be afraid to sleep after the dream I had the other night. Maybe that’s it…. I had this dream about seeing someone I want to see, but haven’t seen in quite awhile…. It was a weirdly awkward dream, not because I didn’t enjoy it, but because I woke up hoping dreams do come true! I never have dreams like that. My dreams are usually quite ridiculous and far from reality… This one was not. It made perfect sense and it was exactly what I wanted….. Maybe I shouldn’t be so weird about the dream… It was just a dream, if it happened in real life, then I can lose sleep, right? Ok, now, settled, maybe all I will have to do is squeeze my eyes closed and I will be on my way to more wonderful dreams! I’m not sure it’s going to be that easy but let’s try!

2009 and Resolutions....

New Years 2009 is upon us and you know what that means….it’s that time of year again…. Resolution time…. We start the year with high hopes, and plan to change the things we do not like about our lives and ourselves…. Very often though, January passes and the ambition and desire to change fades, we soon return to our old ways vowing, next year will be different. It’s a vicious cycle that hurts no one but us. So, this year I am not going to make a vow of change. I am going to change. We change daily by the experiences never really knowing just how much until years later. You know what I mean. We all find ourselves thinking how different we are now than before…. For example, 3 years ago I would have never hesitated to tell a guy I liked him. Now based on experiences, I hesitate and wait too long because I learned long ago in instances where I blurt it out, it’s usually to the wrong kind of guy. Now, I wait and wait and wait…. (Overcompensating much…. I know) in order to assure that the guy is a good guy, the right kind of guy for me… However, now I realize that waiting too long is a mistake… because now he doesn’t know and he finds other girls and you enter a friend zone… How good is that? Learning…. It’s what we do; acknowledging is what makes the difference. I don’t have any wild new resolutions…my resolution is to fulfill my resolutions from year passed. Yes, all of them and come February, I am not allowed to forget. The plan is…. Each month I am going to fulfill one of my resolutions…. Luckily some years I had more than one resolution. So here we go by the end of 2009, I will have

-Quit smoking,
-Quit drinking sodas
-Save more money
-Pay off my credit cards
-Learn a new hobby
-Spend more time focusing on me
-Get rid of all the overly selfish people in my life!
-Commit to buying a house
-Make time for an actual vacation…. One lasting more than a couple days….
-Spend a weekend in Charleston, SC with someone worthwhile!
-Make it to the beach this year
-Tell the guy I care about, how I feel.


So yay for 2009, may it bring us all love, luck and wishes granted!!!


Love

Ashton

Tis' the season not to shop at Bloomingdales

Tis’ the season or so they say… Being that Christmas is my favorite holiday I tend to go all out for my family. Well today, I was interrupted by a level of frustration I should not have reached! I spent all day traipsing up and down Tyson’s trying to find the perfect gifts for my family. After spending the majority of the day running back and forth between Bloomingdales and Nordstrom trying to find the perfect gift for my sister, I found it. Now mind you I found all of my brother in laws and mother’s presents in Nordstrom, they wrapped them right there for free (You expect when you spend that kind of money that they do that) I was surprised when my evening came to an end with the purchase of the perfect gift for my sister. After my last rounds through Bloomingdales, I spotted the perfect gift. I stand there and wait for about 15 minutes for her to finish some form of computer work, she finally rings me up and hands me the gift, no box, no wrapping nothing…. Now this was a fairly expense gift! I know that my purchase provided that woman with a hefty commission yet she sneered at me and told me to go to customer service if I wanted a box. I get up there and they wanted $25 to wrap the gift and there was a 4-hour wait. Now as bad as that was I would have sucked up having to pay for it except the people in front of me where all employees dropping their gifts off to be wrapped. In what industry does the customer not come first? When you wait for 15 minute in line behind store employees only to reach the counter and be told there is a 4-hour wait and you just dropped a ton of money, that’s enough to call it a day! I was done! I still have one final present to buy but I had just lost my cool! I knew after that there would be no way I would be able to fight the holiday crowds with a smile on my face. Someone may have been seriously injured by simply bumping into me. Now I never thought these words would escape my lips but Bloomingdales disappointed me. So fair warning to all…. If you will be finishing your holiday shopping this year in a Department store, Neiman’s & Nordstrom will wrap and/or box the gifts for you….. Bloomingdales will charge you and put their employees ahead of you. Yay Christmas spirit!!!

Kentuckiana's Greatest Adventure

So yes, it has been interesting to say the least. One word, simple and plain, the locals call it .... "Kentuckiana." Louisville, KY is less than a mile away from Jeffersonville, IN so you take Kentucky and Indiana and mix it together and you get “Kentuckiana”. I had a lot of fun while I was there but was most definitely ready to get home. I had an incident with a luggage cart and a wall (which makes an interesting story), met the Chicago bears coach Mike Ditka's twin (who by the way had amazingly bad hair), I made friends with the mouse that inhabited my room (not really) and drank at the best Irish bar ever (real Irish bartender included) We drank dollar drafts, walked around in the freezing cold and rocked Kentuckiana like no one else could! I have to say though…. There are a lot of people in Indiana missing teeth! REALLY…. Some covered it up with grills others flashed their “somewhere teeth” (Somewhere teeth-Some where here, some were there) proudly. It was definitely not a town filled with public housing or city streets…. It was more of a suburban ghetto. Imagine if Gomer Pyle and Snoop Dogg could spawn children…. Now not everyone was like this but there was a good majority of the town that confused me. I could just imagine some of these white boys in their Carhart’s flashing their grills as they bust out their Huntin’ Rifles and jump on their tractors to prepare for a plow by…. (Get it… drive by…. Tractor… Plow by, ha! ) It was certainly entertaining! The rest of the people were great, though I would not recommend this as a vacationing spot!

I am Bridget Jones

So here it is, take away the big girl panties & replace them with skimpy lace ones, change the British accent to a Southern one, it’s me, I am Bridget Jones. After years of friends joking about how much Bridget Jones & I had in common, I just blew it off… never thinking too much about it. However, the other day was different. I didn’t blow it off, instead, I watched with amazement. Realizing, I am that girl, the one who dance around the house in her panties, singing loudly and terribly off key. The same girl who trips up the stairs, falls out of cars, and on more than one occasion spent the day with my skirt tucked in to my pantyhose.

Constantly keeping track of pounds lost and cigarettes smoked, we share many of the same struggles. Our shared taste for bad men and lack to distinguish when the good ones are interested leaves us in a constant quandary over our love lives. I attribute our naivety to being good hearted. However, I have learned that thinking people have the best intentions can prove to be very dangerous to our hearts and leave us looking like fools. For example, you look on the surface, dating the wrong guy has always kinda been my thing. You know the type, unavailable in every sense of the word. Those guys who think hitting women, having five girlfriends, lying about the littlest things, is all ok. Yes, those are the men I have found. However, if you know me, you know to look passed that and see there is a reason behind it. I never wanted to change anyone or even tried but have always felt in my heart that no one could really wanted to be such an asshole, liar, or cheat…. I thought they would want to change themselves if they found the right girl and I thought was that girl. Well I was wrong, mean people will always be mean people, cheaters will always be cheaters and liars will always be liars. I am learning to ward off the Daniel Cleavers of the world and expand my search for the Mark Darcy’s. However, it has left me in a position having a hard time trusting people, always keeping the Mark Darcy’s of the world at an arms length.

Anyone who has watched the second Bridget Jones should be familiar with the part where she lands herself in a Thai jail. I am the girl whose naivety would land her in a Thai jail. But, it is also totally me to trade the crazy little Thai girls my bra for a cigarette all the while orchestrating them in a choir singing Madonna’s Like a Virgin. You may also remember her EX saves the day and she believes that it’s not because he loves her, he is simply a messenger. It’s not till later where she realizes it was all him he was no messenger. When she goes after him to tell him she loves him, she finds herself corned by the woman she thought he loved… Who turns out to be a lesbian in love with her! Anyone that knows me, knows that is something that would happen to me.

As I watched I sat there in shock thinking, no, this is not ok, I don’t want to be that girl. Who wants to be known as the real life Bridget Jones? Not me. I didn’t want to be the girl known for dating the wrong guys, the girl who walked into a sliding glass door or even the girl who laughs at inappropriate times and says things without thinking because she is nervous. I didn’t want to be known for that. There is more to me than having bad luck, being clumsy and dating the wrong kind of men. Then after sitting there for a moment, I realized I am that girl and I am ok with that and yes there is way more to me than that but it’s me…. Perfectly imperfect. I may get nervous and laugh at inappropriate times and say things with out thinking, I may trip and fall in front of a room of gorgeous men, I may even be the girl who walks into glass doors or trip up the stairs, but that’s me. Bad luck, clumsiness and being naive, that’s all part of me and I share that with Bridget Jones. That’s just me. Always has been, always will be and I am happy with that. That’s right people. I am Bridget Jones and I am ok with that.

I'm one of those people now....

So, here I am, I swore I would not be one of those people... one of those "bloggers," and now.... I am.  Lately, I have struggled to keep everyone up to date with what is going on in my life simply because I am so crazily busy! From one state to another, working all day and spending most nights out, I've lost touch. Late at night or early in the morning is where I usually find free time these days, but since most of you are either tucked in to bed or out having a life of your own, it makes things rather difficult! I figured this would be something I could squeeze in between business meetings, work, and late night glass of wine. I don't think I'll be a daily blogger, probably something more along the lines of a weekly blogger but who know these days... Well I am off to pack for a morning flight to New Albany, IN. Oh yay....my adventures continue.