FYI GIRLS

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope."

Just a Thought

Sometimes, saying your sorry to ones you hurt just isn't enough... When you say I am sorry, all I want to say to you is, go play in traffic! How bout not doing the things you did or saying the things you said.... Try that next time! But again... that's just a thought!

Bring it on...

Life keeps throwing stuff at me and though it might make me cry or it stings just a little, I have this. I have this completely. There is nothing life can throw at me that I can’t handle. You think I am kidding. I’m not. My friends have joked for years about how the stuff that happens to me they thought they would read in books. They’ve actually asked me to write a book. For example, I struggled to pull myself out of bed this morning after my shitty couple of days that left me with swollen eyes, a twisted knee, a little hurt and a lot of disappointment, and here I am running late to the airport. I don’t like being late…. EVER! I lift up my suitcase to drag it down the stairs and much to my surprise, it wasn’t zipped shut. Everything spilled out on the floor I reassemble my suitcase and head out. I get to the parking lot. The same parking lot I have parked in for 5 years. I exit on the ramp and pull down to find that it’s closed. So I think to myself, great, and start laughing. So, for a split second I struggled to decide whether I should barrel through that dinky little bar they use to gate me out, or risk the accident of reversing back up the exit ramp. I figured a great way to start this trip was not to start it in jail so as I am reversing back up the ramp and here come 5 more cars. Awesome, so I can barely see because my eyes are so swollen and here I am reversing a mile down the exit ramp about to cause a 5 car pile up. Of course, my eyes weren’t swollen enough to miss the looks I was getting from these people. So I felt obligated to prove my level of intelligence and stopped to warn everyone of their upcoming parking lot denial. Once I explain to everyone what is going on they follow me in reverse. Well…. In an attempt to not get hit I throw my car into drive. Apparently that is not the right thing to do when your car is in reverse. There I am driving a 2009 Lexus and stalled out in the exit. I finally collect myself enough to figure out I needed to turn the car off and then turn it back on. I get the bastard going again and guess what the parking lot is full…. Great! I am already late… I drive for 45 minutes to find a parking spot just to get to my plane where I am behind the loudest woman ever! I get to freezing cold Detroit only to find the warm and cozy flannel pj pants I thought I had packed was actually the top….. so no warm clothes for me… but somehow, despite still trying to figure how to deal with the hurt and disappointment of this weekend, I have this…. Bring it on! Bring it on!

I miss my Dad....

There are times in life when little girls need their dads. Today is one of them, though I know what he would tell me, though I know what to do…. Somehow, I feel like he could make it hurt less and be a little easier to deal with. Today this little girl needs her dad. A great big hug and a kiss on the head was all it used to take to make everything better. These days, though I’d give anything for a hug and a kiss from my dad, the solutions for heartbreak have become more complicated. I recently realized that I have been putting people first, ahead of myself, who don’t even place me 2nd or 3rd. I deserve better and I've known that all along. For some reason I dig deep down inside and find faith in human kind. Not every time but most times, I am proven wrong. People are just that people. I can't expect every person to be like me and put others ahead of themselves. This isn’t what I want, but I am gonna take the high road. Maybe its because I look at everything as a lesson or because I don’t want to walk around angry. Or maybe its because I finally understand there are things we don’t want to happen but have to except, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live with out but have to let go of. So I am gonna hit the delete button of life. Forget my feelings, remember I was 2nd choice, and start focusing on me! Friends and love interest alike, if they have put me in a situation where I was 2nd choice, devalued in any light, or forgotten…. I am gone….